Silly Things I've Learned

Silly and Not So Silly Things I've Learned in Africa

by: Nicole Morse

1. It is hard to burn a whole pumpkin the oven.
2. Cooking from scratch is not so hard if you have the right tools.
3. In Africa it is rude to not share your time. In America it is rude to ask for someone’s time.
4. Giving your time for another will make a friend for life in any culture, even if you can’t speak the language.
5. You have to understand your own culture before you can begin to understand someone else’s.
6. If you show you care about what is important to another, you will be forgiven a plethora of mistakes.
7. Bathrooms that consist of a hole in the ground usually stink.
8. Sometimes a bathroom that is a hole in the ground is cleaner than a bathroom with a toilet.
9. Mosquitoes are smart. They will find any opening, no matter how tiny, in a mosquito net.
10. Giving your children the same grace you want for yourself will build the best relationship.
11. Yelling will damage your children’s hearing.
12. Geckoes are our friends. Let them stay in the house. They eat mosquitoes.
13. Geckoes that grow into dinosaurs must leave the house.
14. If you are careful to look, the world consists of the most beautiful, interesting, and unusual plants you can imagine.
15. You can live without electricity if you are set up for it. It is impossible to live without water.
16. Home should be a haven but never a fortress to keep the rest of the world out.
17. People are usually reluctant to talk about the parts of their culture that are embarrassing or that they think you will never understand.
18. Brown sugar is made of white sugar and molasses. And it takes a lot of elbow grease to mix them together.
19. I now know the true meaning of elbow grease.
20. Eating fresh vegetables with real butter is healthier than canned or frozen. You will eat more veggies and get less preservatives, salt, and other undesirables.
21. When you cook from scratch you may use salt, butter, and sugar but you are more likely to eat in healthy proportions because you saw how much salt, butter, and sugar went into it!
22. Washing cloth diapers by hand is no fun.
23. If you don’t use new language skills you will never learn the language.
24. Africans are the most polite and helpful people in the world - even if they are giving you directions to a place they have never been and have no idea where it is located.
25. Venting your frustrations in moderation can be very healthy.
26. Learning a new language will fry your brain.
27. Bathing in brown water is truly disgusting.
28. Rain water can be a lot cleaner than tap water.
29. Marriage is one of the hardest, and most rewarding, things you will ever do.
30. Waiting is not necessarily a passive activity.
31. There are some things you only get one chance to do, like make a hospital visit or attend a funeral.
32. Contentment has nothing to do with what you have or how easy your life is.
33. It is possible to check a live chicken at a store’s bag check counter.
34. Roosters crow at any time of day and love to talk to other roosters long distance. And they really love listening to their crow echo across a valley.
35. When the cat, who usually ignores you, meows insistently to get your attention it usually means she has brought in a dead bird or lizard for your approval.
36. Buying meat off a cow hanging in an open market stops being gross after a while, but it never stops being hard to chew.
37. Only laugh at others if you laugh at yourself more.
38. Monkeys are smart. They can learn how to unzip tents, open car doors, and get into anything that has food. 
39. If you don’t believe in what you’re doing you’ll never make it through the hard times.
40. Giving your family the same courtesy you would give to a friend or stranger lets them know how much you respect and love them. And who is more important than your family?
41. Eggs keep longer if kept at room temperature but once refrigerated have to be kept cold.
42. Almost nothing smells worse than a rotten egg.
43. No matter how well you feed them, people who come out for a week will start dreaming of what they want to eat first when they get back home.
44. Even saltine crackers can taste like heaven if their from home.
45. Only Americans know how to make doughnuts.
46. At any expat potluck, count on the Americans to make the good desserts.
47. After living in a third world country, I’ll never feel poor again.
48. Bread can’t be kneaded enough, pie crust can’t be handled too little.
49. A woman with a serious feminist streak can still be proud of baking bread and making her own cream cheese.
50. Adding too much salt is hard to fix.
51. It takes about 5 gallons of bath water to bathe and shave your legs.
52. It is possible to live in a house and still be camping.
53. The first response to poverty is sadness. The second is guilt at not being poor yourself. The third is realizing that you can't solve a nation's financial difficulties.
54. Teaching your children to think for themselves when they are young can create great challenges to parenting when they are older children.
55. Western children raised in a third world bush area may be more naive and innocent compared to American culture, but they are infinitely wiser and more mature in many ways.
56. My children, who have been on safari many times, feel neglected because they have not visited a zoo.
57. You can learn to do anything if there’s no one else around to do it for you.
58. Always seek out the wisdom of others before attempting something you’ve never done before.
59. You have to understand yourself before you can understand anyone else.
60. As much as we miss pizza delivery, we’ll always miss family more.
61. Refusing to allow other people to help you isn’t saving them trouble; it’s refusing a gift of friendship.
62. Knowing that you are being taken advantage of isn’t being taken advantage of; it’s playing the game to your own advantage.
63. I will never have to work as hard as an African woman in the village.
64. The greatest mistake you can make with people is losing your temper.
65. It is not a joy to house break a puppy in the rainy season.
66. Only a child growing up in Africa would describe her perfect garden with a pet elephant and the sound of hippos snorting nearby.
67. Never give a loan you aren’t prepared to forgive.
68. Mexican food and chocolate cake can get anyone through to another day.
69. Even zebras waddle when they’re pregnant.
70. Having struggles does not make you weak. It is the perseverance through struggles that proves you are strong.
71. Sunrises are overrated.
72. My husband has seen thousands of sunrises. I rely on his expertise. 
73. If you want to know what your priorities are look at where you spend your time and money.
74. Always read the signs. You never know when you’ll see a Carnivore hair salon, a Brain of My Uncle snack shop, or an F. Arts sign writer!
75. No trial is in vain. 
76. If your life is only about yourself your world is too small.
77. It is important to not only tell your children who you are but why you are.
78. More signs: Money Comes, Money Goes Investments; Energy Coffin Makers; Kaka Hotel (kaka is brother is Swahili).
79. The most important first sentences to learn in any language are: “I don’t understand” and “I don’t know.”
80. African women look good in any color and any combination of patterns. I don’t.
81. When your son’s prayer request is to try roasted termites it’s time to give in.
82. The best way to make a memorable impression when visiting a church back home is to throw up in front of the women’s missions group.
83. Only a missionary kid would have a fond “smell memory” of dirt.
84. If you have to say, “Stop playing mating slugs,” your kids have watched too much National Geographic and Animal Planet.
85. I have fond memories of watching dung beetles in the church yard.
86. Lizards will sometimes fall from grass roofs in the middle of a church service.
87. Relatives back home should never tell you when they are going snow skiing. It is cruel and unusual punishment.
88. We have, from Africa, looked at live webcam video of the ski slopes and actually seen our relatives skiing.
89. We have talked to relatives on the cell phone from the middle of safari parks.
90. Boarding school is not the end of the world. The kids can learn to love it and though they may miss their parents, in the end the parents suffer more than the kids.
91. Missionary life is a life of extremes. With the kids 24 hours a day or separated by boarding school or college. At home with family for a few months or separated for years.
92. I love African English names. There are lots of Princes and Queens. I've met a Simplex and a Godfrey who was nicknamed God and Goddy. A friend of mine met a Vagina. And my husband taught a Vascode Gama (Vasco de Gama).
93. When my husband brings home gifts of live animals from churches my children first name them and then ask, "When are we going to eat it?"
94. In the dry season the dust will get you. In the rainy season the mold will get you. And all year long the smoke from the cooking fires will get you.
95. Africans want "washable" hair. I would love to hair that I could braid and not bother with for weeks!
96. "Teachable moments" with our kids only come when we are willing to talk about our own fears, mistakes, heartaches, and beliefs.
97. "Teachable moments" are not the times when we point out our kids' mistakes.
98. A thankful heart is the only compass for successfully navigating life.
99. Making myself a better person is only valuable if it effects other people.
100. I am nothing without my God.